Our Man BM

This is BM.

OK, he's really not that bad of company (that's not proper grammer and I know it but couldn't care less), unless you are depending on him to get things done in a timely manner or at all, teach you something useful, learn something simple, do you a solid, be honest, or in most ways give two shits about something besides himself without being told to. You should definitely not depend on him not running off into the night while in port and disappearing for three days and when he does return, to not smell like a used condom, have the coke jitters and still not be the slightest bit productive. Just about all you could depend on him to do is massacre the proper pronunciation of Spanish (he actually has quite the Spanish vocab and is a confident conversationalist, but his accent made me cringe), and make this weird pouty face whenever a woman came within 50 yards of him. Woman, in this case, is loosely defined as anyone between the ages of 10 and 85 who might possibly have a vagina or at least one boob...I think he meant the look to be sexy but, at least as far as I could tell, it definitely was not.

Yes, he is wearing a fauxhawk, which we gave him...and when told that it made him look like the douche he is, he took it as a complement.

I was thinking that I would relate a few stories about the overall dillholiness by which his character may be said to be defined, but upon second thought, I shan't. T'would foul my otherwise upbeat reminiscences of this delightful trip, and besides, usually it was more annoying than funny. Suffice to say that if you took all of Shakespeare's pompously self centered and ultimately miserable characters (usually [and unfortunately, because it was a bullshit racist stereotype, which by the way I am in no way invoking here, simply mentioning it because it is true of the character] a swarthy foreigner or covetous "Jew"), mixed them up in a vat along with the addition of 200 years, a dash of sexism, and a pinch of religious intolerance, out would pop our man BM...

There is a story about the fish, but we won't get to that until tomorrow...or maybe the next day.

By the way and in no way in relation, it is fucking gorgeous up here these days...sunny, mid-high 70s...wow.